Cop Stories:
“Just the facts, Ma’am.”

(Another one of Kramer’s Fine Hyper Text collections.)

Press Hard 3 Copies.





I like cops. Not like that, but sure. Several clients are LEO (Law Enforcement Officials – not to be confused with The Leo).

My cop story? One of them, anyway? I was in the local grocery store. The fancy, make-believe version of Whole Foods? Grazing. What I call it. There are all these samples of exotic goat cheese and free-range oranges, and locally gown (something), and then, in produce? Watermelon. Very few experiences can top watermelon on a hot afternoon. Few weeks back, it was still really hot.

I picked up a toothpick, speared a watermelon cube, popped it in my mouth then speared another. Unlike – I’m guessing this was suggested – grabbing a new toothpick I just used the one I had. I managed to get two pieces of watermelon on to that toothpick. I looked up.

Chief of Police. Smiling. I smiled back, kind of goofy. Sort of loses any chance at cool when I’m wearing a Hawaiian shirt and sandals. Not very threatening, hair pulled back in a ponytail. I looked at him.

“Good! Try it!” I said.

He said something and smiled, speared a piece of watermelon. I worried that I was busted for something.

Nice guy. Aquarius, I think.

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