Grace and Ken picked me up at the airport, the dynamic Leo twins, and we grabbed a bite, then wandered around while waiting for the TV show. There was much back and forth with the producer, or director or whoever my contact was. The location was a horse ranch, and we pulled up on time, when the director rushed over to the truck and told me to stay put.
The Rio Grande Valley, can see it from Grace’s place, there’s a warm red river flowing in the shallow bottom lands. We crossed it and hung out in a parking lot for most near an hour, me suffering heaps of abuse from the Leo couple. The Leo.
After that, hour and half later, I was called back to the location. It wasn’t a “ranch style house,” it was a ranch house. Horse ranch. For real. The guy who got his wife swapped? Rancher. Three, four kids. Three girls, one boy. And a “hippie” Gemini from way back east. Originally? She was from Southern California.
Here’s how it worked. I walked in, they kept me out in the cold for a few moments, one of the producers (Leo) was talking to me, to fill me in. Apparently, I don’t know a lot about how the program works. The swapped wife tried to lay down some rules, and that didn’t work. So instead of doing readings for the whole family, I was looking forward to reading for the cowboy, I was to meet her and go over the charts with the (swapped) wife. Pointers on how to reconcile.
Walk in, undo my shirt, get a mic stuck on me, then walk back out, then come in again, and say “Hello.” The living room furniture was being rearranged. I met everyone a second time. Watch those reality shows? The part where they say, “Hello?” Fake. Wasn’t the first hello. Not that it matters, either.
The drama was more focused around the cowboy – a guy from a long line of ranchers – and some new age hippie chick. Which, I might add, I could communicate with her very effectively – Gemini female. Not rocket surgery, you know?
One of the first things I noticed, above and beyond picture shrines to the children? Trophy buckles. Not minor buckles, but the real deal. Size of a (motorcycle) license plate. First Place, Amarillo. First Place Lubbock. First Place Rio Grande Valley. Counted close to a dozen, maybe more. Team Calf roping, and, apparently, a daughter who is a brilliant Blue Ribbon Barrel Racer, one picture of her, long, red hair streaming behind her as she cuts a horse around a barrel.
The astrology of the family is even more curious, as there’s huge “karmic” tie that runs throughout.
The problem? I tried to explain, the Pecos River? 200 miles east. This is West of the Pecos. The Wild West. Most of the crew was from NY.
The (Cancer guy) director would occasionally interrupt and ask questions, and then, start the camera over again. I guess. Near as I can tell, the camera was rolling almost the whole time.
As far as I’m concerned, it’s a horse ranch. Cowboy. Real cowboy. And Capricorn.
“I kind of told him he wasn’t manly….”
Yeah, that won’t fly.
Check it out:
Wife Swap – Brazenwood/Taylor
Friday, April 24, 2009 on ABC (tentative)