New Xmas Album MRX v.2

New Xmas Album MRX v.2

In the span of the last — not a quite a decade — there’s been subtle shift and potential growth in my online presentation of astrological interpretations of present energies.

Think I got better.

Might’ve just gotten more verbose. Can’t really say, for sure, but I’ve been at this for more than 20 years, now, and I would hope that I had improved my craft.

Some folks still think it’s crap. Oh well. These are culled from the last half-dozen years, just some cherry-picked horoscopes that are newer. I have to review to see where I’ve been so I can better plot a course forward. I was once accused of recycling material, same horoscope for Aries as for Scorpio, and I didn’t, nor would I. However, Mercury gets a little extra attention, now. Just from the last half-dozen years, as a guideline.

New Xmas Album MRX v.2


Portable Mercury Retrograde

Portable Mercury Retrograde

Aries: Happened some years ago. Party, ostensibly a spring-fling party, not long after Eeyore’s Birthday in Austin, which was/is a real thing. So, around now, many-many years back. A series of females were giving the party, and the nights were alive with hope, promise, young love, some pollen, and insects. Mostly harmless gnats, but mosquitoes were starting to emerge that year.

One of the females, let’s call her a “girl,” I was rather interested in her, in that way. At the party, though, there were two or three other guys who were also interested in her, in that way. One was a biker-like feller, no contest there, he wasn’t going to make any time with her: too gruff. Another was a tech-hippy, and he was too clean-cut. This was back in the day when swimming in Barton Springs qualified as daily bathing — I was clean. Finally, there was a guy who played in a band — a real guitar player. One was too clean, one was too rough, me, I was almost perfect — except? I got beat out by a guitar player. Not long after that, I picked up a guitar case, just to see if that trick worked. That’s different story, told elsewhere. I was a second choice to a real guitar player, and I’m OK with that, but I’m not the Aries in this situation. There’s a pretty good chance that you’re passed over for someone’s first choice.

At first, Aries-like, glance, this is a huge mistake. Stop. Pause. Consider where the planets are right now, and consider what’s happening, winding, unwinding, and going sideways. Not much longer, after that?

“I will never date another musician!”

Guitar players in Austin had a well-deserved reputation.

What might not work according to the current Aries time-table? A little longer view and this all plays right into your hands.

“You know I’m a writer, right? Not a guitar player?” 4.20.2017


Portable Mercury Retrograde

Portable Mercury Retrograde

Taurus: Shift. “Oh, I get it, this one of those jokes, of yours, right? Like, ‘Shift happens,’ huh?” No, that’s not what this was about. This about shifting a few degrees, a few moments, a few inches in some situation, or in my favorite example, about three meters. Not quite four yards, just a little distance. We were anchored, although that’s not the real image, as the boat was almost aground and motionless, with the rope coiled up around the anchor’s chain, and we weren’t catching anything. Plenty of activity on the water, and birds were feedings as well as the fish, spooling up and schooling. All we had to do, after 45 minutes of teasing, was shift.

Shifted the boat over a few yards, not far, just a little distance from the old location to the new location. I just poled it over, never dropped the motor back in the water. Fish started to happen. It was simple: shift location. Not far, not drastic, just a little, like drifting, only I helped by poling, but it wasn’t far. Three meters. For some reason, the fish liked the new location, much, much better. Pictures of my success are up on some website. Beat the Mercury Retrograde “no fish” blues. Shift. Maybe not far, just a little. 6.5.2015


Portable Mercury Retrograde

Portable Mercury Retrograde

Gemini: Following Shakespeare’s early works, we can see that he was talking about Henry V, the guy who conquered France and reunited a kingdom. This, of course, refers to historical fiction rather than historical fact, as Shakespeare and his cohorts rewrote much of England’s history. You know, adapted for stage, like adapted for film, like the line, “Based on a true story?”

You can’t see it right now, but the Sun and Mars are playing tag. Gives an extra, highly combustible flavor to everything Gemini. This is where care and caution is more than advised, the times kind of demand it.

Due to Mercury being part of this mess? The big caution comes when you play fast and loose with facts.

In a single expression?

“Don’t.” 6.11.2015


Portable Mercury Retrograde

Portable Mercury Retrograde

The Cancer: Mute button. I have one on my phone. I have one on my tablet. I even have a keyboard command for the computer, to stop all output of audio. The mute button, works wonders. Jupiter is the lucky star and suggests many successful events, happy tidings, good news, all of that, in the near future. Little Mr. Mercury is Retrograde, and that means we all need to step back and take a big, Cancerian lungful, hold it, and pause. Hit the mute button. Jupiter is in Cancer, as is that aforementioned Retrograde Mercury, as is Venus. Jupiter excites, promotes, exhilarates. Weigh that against Mercury making you behave, well, like me, with the best possible comment at the worst possible time.

Mute button: use it. 6.27.2013

The Leo

Portable Mercury Retrograde

Portable Mercury Retrograde

The Leo: Full Moon, Wednesday night, all day Thursday and by Friday? The effects of the full moon are over. Still kind of a lingering party atmosphere, but still.

I’d suggest, unless, this is very pointed, unless you’re fishing, I’d suggest it’s a good time to chill. “Lunatics” are people who are crazy when the moon is full; the root of madness being in that phase of the moon. Allegedly. It’s not, not really. The way I see it? Full Moon promises. You, as the mighty Leo, you made some Full Moon promises, and then, once the weekend properly arrives, you can’t, won’t, don’t seem to be able to, the promises you made? Doubt you’ll be in mood — or position — to fulfill them.

I’d suggest, from this point moving forward for the rest of the week? My simple suggestion is to, “Take that under advisement.” I’ll take that in consideration. I’d be careful about absolute promises, you know, it’s the phase of the moon. Right, go with that.8.2.2012


Portable Mercury Retrograde

Portable Mercury Retrograde

I know a bank where the wild thyme blows,
Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows,
Quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine,
With sweet musk-roses and with eglantine;
Oberon in Shakespeare’s Midsummer’s Night’s Dream 2.1.248-52

Horoscopes starting 9.1.2016

Portable Mercury Retrograde

Portable Mercury Retrograde

Virgo: There’s always something mystical and enchanting about Shakespeare’s Midsummer’s Night’s Eve. There are also the elements of a more mercurial nature of the fairies in it, with a classical Mercury Misstep when randy Puck gets the right potion in the wrong person’s eyes. It’s a fun bit of summer stock, too. I’ve seen various versions, and I think there’s an RSC/Netflix version that’s fairly innocuous, kind of light and frilly. No dark side to the Faeries enchantments. With this current disposition, the Moon is yet new? Despite, or because of, the current condition of Mercury?

There needs to be a light and frilly approach, dictated by the planets, for Virgo. Not too married to a specific outcome, because, well, with Mercury? Like Puck’s mistakes? Comic relief.



Portable Mercury Retrograde

Portable Mercury Retrograde

Libra: After you’ve spent any kind of quality time around me, you begin to realize that I’m a little brash, blunt, and almost needlessly direct. Not all the time, and I do have my finer moments when I can gather my thoughts and present material with more artful, perhaps gentler chiding instead of just blurting out the answer. I’ve never claimed otherwise. Just so there’s no misrepresentation of facts, I’m drawing attention to one of my behavior traits, as an example of what type of energy is running through the Libra limbs, even now, and what kind of action your Libra self might want to avoid.

Don’t blurt it out. Don’t act rashly. Don’t act brazenly. Don’t stick your foot in your mouth. Happy birthday. Now, more than ever, a metered, measured response is best. Happy birthday. It bodes well, but don’t answer too quickly. Happy birthday! 9.22.2016


Portable Mercury Retrograde

Portable Mercury Retrograde

Scorpio: Think back, Scorpio, think back, maybe, what six weeks back? Journey with me down the corridors of the Scorpio memory, to a time in the distant past, you know, a few weeks ago. Last year, even.

Mercury was retrograde then. Much hilarity did ensue.

There’s a message you tried, valiantly, to get across to someone. The receiving party didn’t seem to grasp the importance of the Scorpio communique.

Much hilarity did ensue. Maybe, as the Scorpio portion of this equation, the transmitter, not the receiver, maybe you don’t see the humor herein. Maybe you should see the humor, but that’s not what this is about. Maybe we just call it good, and as an idea, let’s revisit what was supposed to be in the message from before.

This new moon in Capricorn sets up a good moment to review the missive, the Scorpio missive, and we get a chance to rethink a different way to send the same message.

Extra Scorpio hint: Sending the same message the same way doesn’t count. 1.11.2018


Portable Mercury Retrograde

Portable Mercury Retrograde

Sagittarius: Flying back to Texas from New Mexico, I had to wonder. It was after a summer excursion to the land of hot peppers, and I’d picked up a couple of baggies of ground chili pepper, more as a seasoning than anything else. Some red, some green, hot, flavorful New Mexico peppers ground fine, like dust. I had them in baggies, maybe an ounce of red and an ounce of green, From that one batch, the red was hotter — but it doesn’t always work out that way. I was pulling some of the spices out for winter-time, “road kill” chili, the other day. Perfect Mercury in Retrograde action, right? What I was wondering, nothing to do with my famous chili recipes, what I was wondering, why didn’t I get searched at the border, or the airport, when I had clearly suspicious baggies of powder. I know going into Cali or AZ, there’s that thing about live produce, live plants, and illegal drugs. While the powder is far from illegal, maybe this says more about my mind, I would think it looks suspicious — very suspicious.

My recollection from last summer was that the green held more heat than the red, but before I mixed it into the chili, I taste tested the two batches. It was the green that was hotter. No, the red. Taste test, then taste test a second time. While I love a flaming hot chili, with Mercury in Retrograde and that one, delicate girlfriend with sensitive taste buds, if I want her around, I’ve got to be extra careful not to overpower the burn sensation. Taste test, two, maybe three times — can’t be too careful now.



Portable Mercury Retrograde

Portable Mercury Retrograde

Capricorn: Boundaries, got to respect the boundaries. Me? I’m not good at respecting boundaries. But I’m not Capricorn, and I don’t have the same onerous issues this week, not quite the same for me as it is for you. So my total lack — apparent total lack of respect? Not a good way to start, or finish the week. I have tendencies to blurt out questions, observations and I can make wildly inaccurate statements about the status quo, unbidden. Uninvited, as it were. In more than one situation, the remark, “If you’d waited, I would’ve asked you,” follow one of my outbursts.

So this is a week to not follow my trail. Don’t go down the path I’ve blazed, as that’s not the best route for Capricorn. Be a little circumspect. Be a little reticent. Reserved. Hold back. Keep something behind the poker face.

Or, like I started with? Respect the boundaries. “Boundaries,” in this definition, are fuzzy lines that divide one item from another. Fuzzy, grey lines, not hard and fast rules or fences. Still, respect the boundaries.



Portable Mercury Retrograde

Portable Mercury Retrograde

Aquarius: Aquarius: I took a road trip to get ready for this. Oh, my dear Aquarius, you owe me large for this one. I wandered into a Wal-Mart SuperCenter. Research. Been a while since I was last in one those super stores. I was in there for all of about three minutes before I had an urge to start filling up a shopping basket with crap, cheap crap, cheap crap that I don’t need.

It’s birthday times. It is the most romantic time of the year, according to what I saw at the super store. Everything was painted red, or cherry, or pink. Mostly hearts, but also chocolate was evident. Not the good stuff, the cheap stuff. Most romantic, my sweet ass. As a megalithic retailer, I’m sure the store, the company, the chain, the corporation has its fingers on the buying public’s pulse. As a birthday Aquarius, take a few moments to pause, look at it, then let the urge slide right off —

Enjoy the birthday wishes, and don’t get caught up in the misguided marketing messages of the times.



Portable Mercury Retrograde

Portable Mercury Retrograde

Pisces: Get a clipboard. With this impending and recurrent Mercury Retrograde situation? Simplest solution? Get a clipboard.

I first noticed this when a client pointed out that all a man (sexist, yes) needed was a white lab coat, and he would be believable as an expert. I think I look rather silly in a white lab coat. If it meant folks would take me more serious? Nope, still can’t imagine me wearing one. I’m all about comfort, not style. Substance, not packaging. However, as this Mercurial period starts to really make progress and, and, and wreaks tiny, localized areas of havoc?

Get a clipboard. I have one. Several. My favorite is made from recycled detergent bottles, all melted in melee of colors. Not very officious looking, but it does the job, and me, you know, Austin and all? Have to look like what works.

The clipboard idea goes beyond being a mere prop, too. While it does help, for your Pisces self, it does look good if you stop and consult a clipboard, in hand, as if you were checking items off list, while that does help? More important? It’s gives a moment’s pause.

Get a clipboard. There is a secondary notation, that goes with it. You can write down items, notes, spurious trivia you can’t forget this week? That’s what you can use the clipboard for, as well. To deal with this Mercury Retrograde? Get a clipboard.


New Xmas Album MRX v.2 and its family of websites participate in affiliate programs, which means there are material connections between the ads, and this site. for appearances —
See the fineprint for full disclosure and terms. breaking horoscopes since 1993.

© 1994 – 2023 Kramer Wetzel for

0 comments… add one

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Next post:

Previous post: