Dr. Suess: If I ran the Zoo.

ASTROFISH.NET: Wasting bandwidth since 1994

Point? Credited with the first use of the word, “Nerd.”

Design Issue:
I was working on a website for the family. The harshest critic in a situation like this is usually, like, my mother. Her age and relative inexperience with “that internet thing.”

ASTROFISH.NET: Premium blend – Dark Roast Horoscopes

The question for Sister was minimum design width, like, how small a median average screen to design for, what is the smallest fixed pixel width? I was going for the standard 800. Works on every machine I can get my hands on to test with.

Sister was using a 640 x 480 browser window. Still.

It’s generally believed that Shakespeare was about 46 years old when the King James Bible was written. Translated. Written. Whatever.

Psalm 46? The 46th word from the beginning? Shake.

Psalm 46, the 46th word from the end? Spear.

(Not fact checked. Seriously.)

Sad note.

Online, bothering/wasting bandwidth since 1994, and now? “Xenon” (kramerwetzel.com) has been published daily since November of 1998. Please register and vote. Think of the children.

Laeti edimus qui nos subigant!
Two Meat Tuesday (the book)
(cure for the common horoscope)
Pink Cake A commonplace book.
Bexar County Line

Boutique Horoscopes:

ASTROFISH.NET: Now on your side!

I liked the line, “Boutique Horoscopes,” but I haven’t been able to hang anything on that bone. However, as I was thinking about it, the discussion ranged around where to eat, I started to figure that my horoscopes are kind of like a home-cooked “family” restaurant.

ASTROFISH.NET: It’s almost as fun as Texas politics

Maybe not a family restaurant, but not an adult bookstore, either. I’ve got two sets of conflicting demographics, neither is what I would call particularly scientific. One is a clear online source that suggests my primary website surfers are female, 29-49, divorced, 1.7 kids, median income $XXK, and so on. That’s – allegedly – more than 70%.

ASTROFISH.NET: 100% All-Natural

The only balance point I’ve got, the names on the subscriber forms – that’s all I see are names and e-mail addresses – but judging from that? There’s a much closer to 50/50 break on gender. And if that’s true, then the online statistics, that metric? It’s broken. Not a trusted source.

ASTROFISH.NET: Boutique Horoscopes (retro prices)

I kept thinking about a big, a huge, plate of meatloaf. Not a personal fave, but this isn’t about me, it’s about characteristic, and that plate of home-cooked food? At that “family-style” restaurant? The servings are huge Usually just a little bit more than an average adult can consume, which is the point. Always a little bit more and the comfort food can induce that full feeling. Just enough, just enough to be too much.

When I weigh my scopes against others, I haven’t found anything that compares.

At the Movies:
Something Mall Cop, and the fact that the movie was top-grossing for several weeks, other than utterly surprising the movie-makers themselves, that’s just got to be one of the signs of the impending apocalypse. The end is, indeed, nigh.

Movie’s okay, for a physical-humor, fat-guy, mildly diverting film. Worth the full matinee price? Hardly. Worth watching some time on TV? Probably, but it did so well, hats off to the stars, it’s just offensive in its banality.

Or the end really is near.

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